Dingo,
American tourist on the ferry between Stranraer (Scotland) and Larne (Northern Ireland): "Hey fellow, are you Irish?"
Mick: "I sure am."
Tourist:- " How many miles is it between Stranraer and Larne".
Mick: "35 miles."
Tourist:- "How many miles between Larne and Stranraer then?"
Mick: "Sorry, haven't a clue"
Tourist: "Surely if it's 35 miles one way, it must be 35 miles back?"
Mick: "You're wrong there."
Tourist: "And can you explain why I'm wrong?"
Mick: "There's only a week between Christmas and New Year, but there's a hell of a time between New Year and Christmas!"
That's a "Nordie" one from where my people are from.
Here's one from Dublin.
Two drunk chaps were standing in O'Connell Street at the main bus terminal on a Saturday night.
Pat says "Excuse me Constable, has the last bus left for Drumcondra?"
Constable: "Yes"
Pat:- "What about Dundalk?"
Constable: "Yes"
Pat continues to ask the constable if various other last buses have departed, and the constable replies "Yes", to each destination.
Pat:- "Are you telling me sir that all the last buses have actually departed?"
Constable:- "Indeed they have"
Pat turns to his inebriated friend Mick and declares, "Right Mick, c'mon. It's safe to cross the street!"
