In my neck of the woods the accordion is almost a religion...
In the wild Highlands, where the golden eagle soars, the piano accordion is king. Here, two clans—the mighty Macstalwarts and the feisty Mcfolkies—battle for musical dominance. The Macstalwarts, in their tartan glory, brandish their massive Hohner Morino Vs like warriors of old, while the Mcfolkies, ever the rivals, counter with their own squeezebox prowess. The Macstalwarts' rallying cry, "Grab your partner for a Gay Gordons!" echoes through the glens, as they gather at their sacred accordion and fiddle clubs, pausing only for the summer's garden tending. Bound by their love for the traditional reel and jig, they uphold the RSCDS creed with a fervour that could stir the Loch Ness Monster itself.
The Mcfolkies, an eccentric offshoot of the hip-folkster lineage, are recognised for their denim and t-shirt attire, often spruced up with a tweed cap or a suede waistcoat. They have a penchant for accordions, especially those that appear as though they've taken a plunge into a paint pot, although they've recently embraced the trend of wooden accordions. It's a little-known fact that they have a fondness for Castagnari and Saltarelle accordions, but more often than not, they're found playing the most budget-friendly Italian accordion available. Their accordions are tuned to a dryness that would make a camel gasp for water and the Sahara look positively moist. So compact and lightweight are these instruments, that anything beyond 3 voices or a 96 bass is deemed colossal. The Mcfolkies won't likely be the entertainers at your barn dance; they follow their own rhythm, accelerating or decelerating as they feel inclined. Rather, they're the mainstay in pubs, endlessly performing "The Bag of Plums," perfectly in sync with the strums of acoustic guitars and the picks of mandolins.
Amidst the wilds of the Highlands, the MacClassic clan stands separate from the others, their specialty? A French tune that'll have you thinking of 'Allo 'Allo! with a "Good moaning" rallying call. Their crowning glory? A high-octane take on Monte's Czardas, faster than a speeding ticket at 84 mph, all while channeling the elegance of a '86 Volvo estate. They've dodged the free bass accordion for the war-horse stradella bass, wringing out melodies like water from a kilt.
And the one thing uniting these Highland Clans? A resounding thumbs down to the CBA.